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Caring for the Caregiver

Updated: Dec 5, 2022

Parenthood is a lot like trying to carefully carry a butterfly down a long and unpredictable path.

Similar to a child, butterflies are both incredibly resilient and delicate. No matter how many bumps, falls, stumbles, or storms you may face—you must continuously hold the butterfly with care. Even when your whole body may tense or fatigue in response to an injury, fall, exhaustion, or fear—you must keep your hand both relaxed and firm in efforts to not drop or hurt the butterfly. One day this butterfly will need to fly on their own and our care directly impacts their ability to do so.

Think about the level of mental, emotional, and physical energy this takes. The constant need to be focused, present, and mindful. Parenthood is constant; striving to be present and working consistently to meet your children’s mental, emotional, and physical needs to assure their safe passage; ultimately venturing towards being independent.

Energy is finite. It can only be renewed if given the opportunity and resources to do so.

Every parent/caregiver is carrying so much. Out of love and care, so many parents/caregivers put their needs last to their children. Most parents/caregivers truly want the best for their children and will often sacrifice much of themselves/their needs to do so. Though seemingly commendable, this does not in reality help our children. Children actually need us to care for ourselves so that we may be present for them, attuned to their needs, and be there for the long haul. Caring for ourselves also models to our children how to care for themselves.

Your Well-being Matters

Caring for yourself IS caring for your children. Your needs are unique and need to be personalized to you. For some, this could be something as simple as making sure your blood sugar doesn’t get too low before you get your little one up in the morning. For others, it can be supportive engaging in supportive spaces-like therapy or groups- to decompress, learn new skills, or process trauma. Everyone has been carried in their own childhood in different ways. They may need a safe therapeutic space to support their inner child in healing from that journey and finding new ways that they can hold their children in efforts to end the cross generational trauma.

Your well-being matters. You caring for yourself is feeding to your children as well as your parenting. You matter.

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